One week into the new year and I’ve already broken my resolution.
I promised myself I would draw more. Just ain’t happenin’. I wanted this first post of 2008 to be a drawing of the lead female in my story. I’ve spent the evening starting and not finishing about 200 quick sketches of her face and it just won’t gel. I know what I want but I can’t get it on paper. Part of the problem is I’ve always struggled with every line in general but I especially have a hard time drawing women. Either the faces are too square or the noses are too long... The proportions are always wrong and always inconsistent. Another problem is that I’m basing her on somebody specific and her face wasn’t the kind of face that boils down well into a generalized graphic interpretation. Something’s getting lost in the translation and if I try to push it too far toward a realistic likeness, my style ends up making her look too masculine. I also don’t want to just give her a generic “cute-girl” face because it helps my writing when I can see a character’s face in my mind. It’s very frustrating.
It doesn’t help that I haven’t drawn anything in about a month. Whatever confidence I was building up before the holidays has long since dissipated. Between work, the Christmas shopping, the constant travelling and four straight weeks of being sick in one way or another, I lost my momentum. Around the time I was getting over a three-week long cold (not unusual for me), I acquired Dad’s stomach virus and spent New Year’s Day feeling like one of Seth Brundle’s test baboons. Suzanne spent the night nursing me through it while I shivered, delirious, in front of a roaring fireplace under three blankets with my worst fever in recent memory.
Mike always used to tell me he hated the time off between issues because if he took so much as a weekend off, it took him a week sometimes to get his rhythm back. I always thought that was strange because he was so good and whenever I got to watch him draw in person, he never drew a line out of place. It seemed to come so naturally to him. Even if what he’d drawn wasn’t what he’d intended, it still looked good. But I’m definitely feeling what he was describing and I’m very disappointed in myself. I’ve considered giving up the drawing in favor of just getting my story in shape but typing, “Wrote some stuff today.” with no drawing to go with it would make for an excruciatingly dull blog. Not that it’s a page-turner now.
I did manage to work on the Perhapanauts pinup last night but it’s still in no shape to post. It’s strange. That Nova pinup just spilled out onto the paper but I’m having so much trouble lately. I think I’m putting too much pressure on myself. I’m going to be drawing some storyboards at work tomorrow and since nobody ever sees that stuff but the creative team, I usually just crank those out no problem. Maybe that will help me loosen up. Man, I sure hope so. I'm tired of hearing myself whine.