Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Nail

Well, while we wait for Leaf to finish his inks on the Sphinx (Hey, that rhymes!) I thought I'd explain the whole "nail through the hand" thing. I'm afraid I exaggerated a little for effect. The nail didn't really go through my hand. Just in a little, then back out as I yanked my hand back.

Allow me to digress...

Since we returned from Durham in August, we've been adopted by a couple of stray kittens that were dropped off in our sewer drain by their wanton hussy of a mother. To the chagrin of our neighbors and against our better judgement, we not only started feeding them but (and this is entirely my fault) we named them. The grey and white one is "Bugs" and the black and white one is "Sylvie" (formerly Sylvester.) We quickly got attached to them but we really can't take in any more cats. Our house would explode. So we've decided to adopt the two as outdoor pets. We live on the corner of two cul de sacs, so traffic is light and they should be fairly safe. They've even taken to sleeping on our front porch.

Unfortunately, keeping them here means getting them "fixed" and that requires traps since they still won't let us actually touch them. They walk right up to us but if we take a step forward, they bound away. We went to the local SPCA and got a humane trap. They'll only take them one at a time so we've spaced it out over a week. We caught Sylvie Sunday night and put her in the basement/garage with a sheet covering the cage so she wouldn't freak out. It calmed her right down. We were a little distraught because we thought Bugs would run off and they'd be separated. Not to worry. Bugs was all about the grub and was back the next morning.

So Bugs wouldn't see us putting the cage in the car or hear Sylvie crying, we concocted an elaborate plan to sneak her out the back door through the laundry room. Unfortunately, Charlie comes running whenever the door to the laundry room opens and we didn't want him scaring Sylvie. So Suzanne put Charlie in her office and shut the door. Not realizing it had a lock on the inside. And it was punched in. As I was opening the door to leave, I heard Suzanne shouting, "You're not gonna believe this! I locked Charlie in my office!"

I examined the door and realized there was no way to unlock the knob. So I ended up breaking in the door, cracking the trim and breaking off the hardware on the jamb. With everything else going on, this was the last thing I needed. I'm afraid my temper got the best of me and I tried to slam the moulding back into place with my hand. Not realizing there was a painted-over nail right where my palm landed. The nail came out and went about a quarter inch into the palm of my hand, just above the wrist. Hurt like hell and bled like crazy. It had gone in at an angle so the skin was all bunched up and pushed down. To prevent infection, I ended up pouring alcohol on it and putting on a couple of Band-Aids. When it seemed to be taking its time to stop bleeding and when I remembered it had been ten years since my last tetanus shot, I went to Patient First to get one. That was a long, horrible experience, but not one worth relating.

Ironically, my hand has scabbed over nicely and doesn't hurt in the least while my arm, where I got the shot, feels like the doc drove in a railroad spike with a jackhammer. It woke me up about three times last night.

Anyway, we got Sylvie back, got the news that he was a she and reunited her with Bugs. Next Sunday, Suzanne will have to trap Bugs on her own as I'll be going back to Durham for a week with my parents to work on the house.

And that's all it was.


Christian D. Leaf said...

Needles and nails are not a good mix.

For a second I thought you were gonna talk about that Rob Zombie "The Nail" comic that came out three or four years ago. Strange, but not too shabby.

Sorry for the delay in the inking. There's a legit reason, which Mafus knows, but I won't bore anyone else with the details.

Anonymous said...

Too bad about your arm still hurting, but I'm glad your hand is better.

Anonymous said...

At least you showed that molding!...?

todd said...



see, this is why we should live closer, bro.

i am an expert lock-pick.

my dad taught me.
he was a cop.
he learned it from some skel.
i have two sets of professional lock pick tools right here.

was there a window--i can't get in those too.

hope you're feelin' better.

(and, christian--i thought he was gonna talk about the alan davis justice league thing, "the nail"...)

japhy99 said...

Whenever I do something like drive a nail into my hand -- which I do more than I care to admit -- I try to come up with an elaborate lie, so when I explain the reason to people I sound more like Jason Bourne than Wile E Coyote.

Just a thought...

Matt Wieringo said...

Todd, it just occured to me that I could have used the old credit-card trick. Didn't think of that. In my defense, I had a lot on my mind at the time. Had a lot more a few moments later, though.

Japhy99, your post made me laugh out loud. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Way to go japhy99.

renecarol said...

so much for the new tetanus shot not hurting as bad huh? I think the nurses' just say that to get you to get shots. My flu shot hurt my arm for 4 days and made me spend all my free time sleeping during those days. Do credit cards really work? I seem to remember trying it or at least watching someone else try it in college and it didn't.

Matt Wieringo said...

The flu shot I got a month or so ago barely hurt at all. As for the credit card trick...I tried it a couple of times in college (on my own door) and it did work. Depends on the hardware on the door and the card you use.

Heywood Jablomie said...

I also thought you were talking about the Rob Zombie comic haha.

That blows about the hand and shot. I know how anger can make you not realize your surroundings. It's not QUITE the same but one day at the office I had gotten pissed and went to grab something in anger and next thing I know it ended up being a stapler and I had just stapled my pinky not once but twice. Man that blew! At least you showed that door frame who's boss!

Glad everything worked out and good luck with the cats!

Warren said...

For a story that starts out, "...we've been adopted by a couple of stray kittens..." this one sure took a violent and bloody turn!

Sorry, Matt, but I laughed and giggled as I read it. Sounds like typical male behavior as my wife would attest.

Hope you and your kittens are all recovered from your trips to the doctors.

Brian said...

Funny, I knew you were referring to the nail through your hand mentioned in a prior post and had, in fact, been curious about how you had done it to yourself so thanks for clearing that up and sorry to hear about all the complications from just trying to help a stray cat.

We have a new stray in the neighborhood as well, She is the cutest little thing and had she shown up a month earlier, would have had a spot with us. Lucky for her, one of the gals in my office was in the market for a cat so she'll be off to her new home this Sunday.

Squeeze said...

Turns out that Bugs in indeed a boy if anyone was wondering. He's been fixed and returned to play with his sister Sylvie. He has forgiven me already for trapping him and taking him to scary places where you come out without all your bits and pieces. ;-)

I left the front door open so only the storm door was closed last night when I came in. Charlie stepped up on the storm door so he could look out and see what was going on there on the porch. Bugs bounds over and put his front paws up so he could stand there nose to nose on the glass with Charlie and meowed at him. Charlie then of course started pawing at the door to try to get out. Wish I could let them all play together! Would probably turn into a big wrestling match between Bugs and Charlie. Toonces wouldn't have anything to do with the kittens (although he and Charlie have been chasing each other like crazy) and I think that Sylvie is content to stay on the sidelines and watch.